“The world is changed by your example, not your opinion.” ~ Paulo Coelho
Sometimes I feel angry with the world.
I feel enraged by how people in power actively work to ignore climate change. I feel furious with the systems and structures that people and corporations have put in place that intentionally harm marginalized people. I feel rage with politicians who sacrifice our democracy to keep their positions of influence. I feel infuriated at the selfish, shortsighted businessmen (gendered intentionally and while that’s probably not fair, oh well) and privileged people who use their power to tilt the world in their favor.
Sometimes the world absolutely pisses me off.
Sometimes I feel despair with the world. I feel overwhelming sadness at the capitalist culture that corrodes the environment, our communities and our very minds. I feel gut wrenching sorrow at our unwillingness to look at our trauma (both that which we cause and suffer) since unexamined, it perpetuates and amplifies. I feel despair at how human beings treat other animals and each other as disposable, resources to use.
Sometimes the world sinks me with sadness.
The problem is that when I feel these big feelings of rage and grief, I can quickly get get paralyzed. I can barely breathe, let alone think or act. I forward articles, I plead with people to see reason (as I see it, of course), to stop our slide to destruction. Like a small boat swamped up to its gunnels, I flail my paddle around uselessly and yell for help into the hurricane.
In one of these states of fury/despair, I talked to a friend about how hopeless it all feels. How the only way to turn things around is through a political system that is breaking down before our eyes. All our little boats are swamped and there is no Coast Guard to call.
She and I were on the phone but I felt her stop and look straight at me.
“No,” she said. “Despair and hopelessness is what will ruin us. The choices you make every day do make a difference. The way you spend your money and use your resources changes what companies invest in. The way you commit your time and energy changes societal systems. The way you live influences others, changes minds, normalizes activism, and makes a difference.”
Sitting soggily swamped as I was, I didn’t readily agree.
But her words stuck with me. When I saw the Paulo Coelho quote (above) a few days later, I heard the echo of her words, “The world is changed by your example.”
The people who impact, inspire and change me are not the ones who post the memes, retweet the tweets or have the snappiest retorts. The people who impact, inspire and change me are the people who live their values. They may have wise words, but those words come from a deep, embodied place. It is their example I follow, more than their opinions.
As we get ready to celebrate the life and legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr. on Monday, let’s remember that we, too, can change things with our example. Feel the rage, yes. Feel the grief, absolutely. And let those feelings propel us to continue to make choices that nudge the world where we want it to go.
And if you encounter someone sitting in their little swamped boat, remind them that their time, their money, their energy, their lives are what we bail with. Each of us can all use them to weather the storm.