"Power is influence over external events.
Peace is influence over internal events."
A panic attack swamped me the night I came home from foot surgery two years ago.
It was my second panic attack so even in the midst of tears, a pounding heart, racing mind and guppy breathing, I knew what was going on. I was grateful that even as I was falling apart, I knew what to do.
The world tells us that being an “influencer” is the goal. Good upstanding grown-ups steer their own ship and get other ships to follow. Politicians want to control the narrative. YouTubers and TikTok-ers want more likes, shares and subscribers. Influence is power and power is the currency of our culture.
But even if you’ve got thousands of followers who hang on your every word and post, your influence over external events only goes so far.
We do, as James Clear reminds us, also have influence on what is happening inside us.
That night after surgery, when my brain was absolutely sure that the splint was too tight and cutting off circulation to my poor healing foot, I could not influence the external events. The injury, the surgery, the heavy hulking splint: I could do nothing about any of that. But as the panic flooded me, some part of my brain knew I could influence the internal events.
We all have times when we get knocked off balance, get triggered, angry or frightened. In the face of these inevitable times, here are 3 ways I use to settle the body, calm the nervous system and get the whole brain back online.
INFLUENCE over Internal Events: 3 Simple Ways to Regulate
1.The 5 Senses
Proponents of the 5 Senses Grounding Technique suggest that when we get rattled, we should look for 5 things we can see, 4 things we can touch, 3 things we can here, 2 things we can smell and 1 thing we can taste. I’m telling you what, though, when I’m in the throes of it, counting through all the senses is more than I can do.
For me, simply connecting with each of my senses – looking around the room or out the window, squeezing my own hands, listening for a sound, taking a big breath to smell and swallowing (cold water helps me) – is an exit ramp from panic.
2. Compression & Weight
For the same reason we swaddle babies and put nervous dogs in Thunder Shirts, compression and weight can support and calm all of us in trying times. The sensation of a hug, a blanket wrapped around you, or a weighted blanket tells your nervous system you are safe and cared for.
We can give our bodies this sensation of compression and support with a blanket or sandbag, by moving on the floor to feel the pressure of gravity and with our own hands. Even squeezing your hands or your own shoulders is a signal to your nervous system to down shift and relax.
3. Proprioception & Interoception
In addition to the 5 external senses, the sixth and seventh senses of proprioception and interoception are also helpful in regulating and calming the body and mind. When we tune into our proprioception, the body’s sense for where it is in space, we get oriented and grounded in where we are. Looking around you is one way to do this, as is moving (safely) with your eyes closed. Moving and stretching in simple ways while noticing the relationship of body parts to each other and objects around you tells your body that you are OK.
Interoception, the sensation of your body from the inside, similarly integrates and down-regulates the brain and body. You can do this simply by feeling the depth of your breath, your heart beat or by imaging in the space between your eyes. Even drinking when you are thirsty, using the bathroom when you need to and resting when you’re tired is interoceptive attunement. Any time you notice and are receptive to internal sensation, you’re engaging your interoception.
As scary and uncomfortable as the middle of the night panic attack was, I felt grateful to have tools handy to help sift the experience toward peace. The more familiar we are with what calms and grounds us when we don’t need it, the more likely it is that we will remember those things when we do.
The world may tell you that the power of influence is what matters. If we instead start with the peace we create by influencing internal events, we are more likely to use whatever power we have in positive ways.