"One of the mighty illusions that is constructed in the dailiness of life in our culture is that all pain is a negation of worthiness, that the real chosen people, the real worthy people, are the people that are most free from pain." ~ bell hooks
In a recent newsletter, meditation teacher Sebene Selassie writes candidly about her recent bout of cancer and the pain associated with her treatment. She recalled the bell hooks quote above and connected it to the distinction she makes between wellness and wellbeing. She writes,
Wellness focuses primarily on physical health while wellbeing encompasses a holistic alignment that is not contingent on our bodies being perfect or even pain-free. … Wellness is now called an “industry” and, in true industrial mode, success is sought. Eat/fast//breathe/meditate/buy your way to physical robustness!
This ableist cultural equation between physical health and worth is something I’ve observed both professionally and personally.
For 20 years, I worked at a “Fitness & Wellness Center” which absolutely marketed physical robustness as something to invest in. While I agree that health and feeling “well” in the body is a worthy pursuit, one’s physical abilities or pain-free-ness, does not make you more worthy. In both subtle and obvious ways, the cultural message is that in order to do your life correctly, you must do everything you can to change the things that are wrong with you.
I know I took that message into my experience of healing a broken foot earlier this year. I obsessed about whether I was doing the right things or not. My inner dialog regularly dissolved into self-blame and feelings of being “less-than” because of my injury. No one said this to me directly. And yet, the messages are everywhere: healthy, strong and pain-free equals virtuous, worthy and deserving.
Take a moment to consider your beliefs around wellness. This can be tricky since the messages we both give and receive can be subtle and below the surface. Do I undervalue someone who is not physically healthy? Or, put another way, do I see someone who is healthy as being inherently worthy?
Sebene Selassie goes on to wonder about wellness,
As if there is a static condition of forever young and pain-free. As if being in a human body can be got right. If physical health signals success, then illness, disability, aging and pain are failures. Failure implies fault. Rarely is there an examination of the many differently distributed causes and conditions of wellness/illness (e.g. youth, genetic lotteries, access to resources).
If wellness focuses primarily on physical health and wellbeing is a holistic, comprehensive measure of how you feel, then what is something that contributes to your wellbeing? What aligns you to your inherent worth and value regardless of how your body looks, functions or feels?
A choice for wellbeing might be a walk in the afternoon sun instead of 45 minutes inside on the elliptical. It might be a sweaty workout or it might be gentle stretching to soothing music. It might be a square of dark chocolate or a mug of hot coffee. Wellbeing might be saying yes to a big opportunity...and it might be saying no.
The invitation is to expand our view from physical wellness to inclusive, holistic wellbeing. This shift allows more possibilities for care even when your body isn’t feeling great. As Sebene Selassie says, “A remedy for confusing wellness for worth? Meeting each moment of pain as an opportunity for wellbeing.”
[NOTE: January Nourishing classes will focus on WellBEING! You can get the details and register here.]