Consistency Over Intensity (Or, Be An Ant AGAIN)

“Most people need consistency more than they need intensity.

“Intensity:
-run a marathon
-write a book in 30 days
-silent meditation retreat

“Consistency:
-don’t miss a workout for 2 years
-write every week
-daily silence

“Intensity makes a good story. Consistency makes progress.” ~ James Clear

If you were to come to me to ask my advice about improving your fitness, strength or mobility, here’s what I would say. “Only start something that you think you could do for the rest of your life.”

Not for a month. Not for a year. But all the rest of your days.

That might sound absurd in a culture that is enamored of quick fixes, “one weird trick,” and odd bro-biohacks. But if you really want to make a difference, consistency not intensity is your friend.

I could give a zillion examples of this, from nutritional changes to increased strength training, from improving endurance to increasing joint mobility. And that would be boring. Literally. Consistency is, practically by definition, boring. It’s doing the same thing, often a small thing, over and over and over. But darlin’s, the cumulative impact of consistent commitment to something? That’s what moves freaking mountains.

Because the power is in this consistent commitment, I also encourage people to do these things with other people. It takes energy to keep going. It is easier together.

And this is not just true for physical and health pursuits, of course. It’s anything you want to do better. Want to be a better writer? Write a little every day…and check in with a writing buddy. Want to have a better relationship? Put your phones down and spend time talking every day…and help each other not slide back into old patterns. Want to make the world a better, kinder place*? Keep showing up, standing up and speaking up every. single. day. with. your. people.

Almost exactly 11 years ago, I wrote an essay that I think about all the time now that we are eyelash deep in an American political crisis. Be An Ant was about making any change but when I went back to it, I read this excerpt from an activist’s point of view:

In 2001, my corporate job and I parted ways.

Don’t you like how I said that? Actually, I got fired. Which stung a little. But the truth was that both of us – my corporate job and me – were not happy so it was just as well that we broke up.

My dream was to teach [mindful movement]. I wanted to help people – big rooms full of sweaty smiling people. Back then I had only a couple of classes. So in between learning routines and teaching twice a week, I worked with my husband, Frank, renovating old houses.

Here’s what I know about renovating old houses: nothing.

Okay, that’s not quite true. I know that it’s messy, dirty work and that there are power tools involved. I know that Frank takes houses so heinously ugly that I can barely look at them and makes them into homes I pine for. That’s what I know. Not much of a resume, I grant you. But I had an in with the owner, so he took me on to do unskilled labor and make lunches that I brought to the site in the kids’ little red wagon.

One of the first things Frank taught me when we were working together was “be an ant.” He would get us started on a project – move all this lumber from here to there, say, or scrape this linoleum off of the kitchen floor, or unload this gravel from the back of the truck – and I would kind of wilt, wide-eyed at the prospect. “Be an ant,” he’d say. “Just do what’s right in front of you. Take one more board, scrape this square foot, shovel this shovelful. Don’t look at the whole thing. It will just make you lose heart and energy. Just be an ant and do it one little bit at a time.”

Be an ant. It was simply amazing what we could accomplish with this one little instruction.

Stinky, disgusting rooms were transformed into lovely spaces. Falling down porches or odd concrete platforms became inviting places to sit and relax. Wildly overgrown yards became welcoming, landscaped gardens. All just by being an ant. [Read the whole essay here.]

When in doubt, when in overwhelm or even when in despair (although if you’re there, go drink some water, walk outside, call a friend or lie down in the grass first), be an ant.

Be an ant who commits to showing up consistently. Be an ant who chooses to do the little thing over and over rather than one big thing. Be an ant who regularly goes to actions and volunteers at events and donates to fundraisers — not go to one protest and nothing changed overnight. Be the ant who sees another sad or despairing ant and invites them to come with you to choose regular, consistent action.

Be a consistent, connecting, joyful badass ant.

Strength Your Way: The Bar

“Consistency before intensity. Start small and become the kind of person who shows up every day. Build a new identity. Then increase the intensity.” ~ James Clear

For years, I’ve been a fan of the Movement Logic podcast with Strength Coach Laurel Beversdorf and Physical Therapist Sarah Court. Over the years they have helped me unpack some of the myths, misinformation, and even cultish culture of the fitness industry. They have helped me understand the current science about movement and how it *actually* impacts the body (or not). I learn from them all the time and I’m a better teacher and mover because of it.

But when they suggested that the best way to build bone and fight sarcopenia was lifting heavy with a barbell?

Well, that was a bridge too far.

I fought this idea with every fiber of my post-menopausal being. Sarah and Laurel have clear, cogent arguments about why it’s the best choice for strength training and yet, the very idea of it just seemed like … too much.

It would be expensive. It would take up too much space. It would be, well, HARD.

It took years. Years of building my strength and capacity. Years of understanding what I needed to keep me consistent and motivated. Years of continuing education and research.

Until, I finally said, OK. OK, OK, OK. Let’s do this.

So here are 6 of the things I have discovered:

1. A barbell set is less expensive and space intensive than I thought. For someone who did not want to pay the cost of a gym membership – not the commute, the expense, or the culture – staying home is appealing.

2. We spent less than $400 for all the barbell gear. We got some new (and on big sale) but much used at Play It Again Sports. Everything we use can be stacked in a corner. It takes less than 2 minutes to set it up and break it down.

Here’s the Gear we use:

Barbell ~ We got a 27lb/6’ bar but they come in different weights and lengths (the Olympic bar that you will find at many gyms is 45lbs and 7’ long).

Stands ~ We use two light, strong stands to rack the bar that are stable yet easy to move and store. We got them at Play It Again Sports for $30. You can also get a cage that offers the safety of bars to catch a dropped barbell but is also heavier and harder to assemble and store.

Bench ~ We got a simple, light weight, adjustable bench that is essential for bench press and can be used for several other moves.

Plates ~ We have a set of soft rubber plates in 45 lbs, 25 lbs and 10lbs that we supplement with smaller 5 lb and 2-1/2 lbs plates that we bought at Play It Again Sports. Having the smaller weights allows us to progress gradually and let our bodies adapt to moving heavy weight.

Clamp / Collar ~ It’s essential to have a barbell clamp or collar to secure the plates when they are loaded onto the bar. We love these as they are light, easy-to-use and super strong.

Additional Options:

Medicine Ball ~ We use external weights including the plates and a 14 lb medicine ball mostly for core and balance exercises. I like the ball because there are fun (ish) things you can do with it. Totally optional.

Mat ~ We are using our set up in my studio that has a beautiful hardwood floor that we wanted to protect, so we also bought this puzzle floor mat system that is great: light, soft and strong. If you are not working on a floor you want to protect, this might not be needed for you.

3. Bring a Buddy! Training can absolutely be done alone (I did it for years) but it’s easier and more fun with a buddy or someone to encourage you.

4. Muscles vs connective tissue. As you lift heavier, understand that muscles respond more quickly to training than connective tissue in joints, tendons (connecting muscle to bone) and ligaments (connecting bone to bone). Muscles respond well to high intensity activity while tendons and ligaments respond to gradual and consistent activity.

5. Rest is essential. Make sure you are resting between sets (at least a minute or two) and between working a body part. Notice Squats/Deadlifts on one day then Lunges three days later.

6. It’s better with a buddy or group. The human brain is wired to lean toward what is easy and comfortable. As you progress in strength training, the truth is that sometimes it will be uncomfortable. This is why training with someone helps keep us going when we don’t feel like showing up. A trainer, especially if all of this is new to you. A lifting buddy. A group even online. Have someone there to be accountable to.

To share all of this and more, plus the basic movements I do every week with the barbell, I’ve made you another video in the Strength Your Way series. You can watch the whole thing in under 40 minutes or use the time stamps to jump to particular sections or exercises.

Barbell Strength Moves – The Basics Video

Barbell Strength Moves – The Basics Video Time Stamps

0:00 ~ Intro to external resistance

1:00 ~ My story. Why I chose the barbell. Resource of Movement Logic Podcast. Barbell less daunting than I thought.

4:11 ~ Do it with a buddy.

5:07 ~ Gear: Barbell, Stands, Plates, Bench, Clamp/Collar, Medicine Ball, Mat

11:30 ~ Muscles vs Connective Tissue

13:06 ~ How much to lift?

14:50 ~ Rest between Sets and Body Parts

16:25 ~ Do it with someone

18:10 ~ Still experimenting

19:00 ~ Legs/Hips & Benefits of Free Weights

20:06 ~ Squats

22:00 ~ Deadlifts

24:23 ~ Chest/Back

25:00 ~ Chest Press

26:13 ~ Bent Over Rows

27:22 ~ Arms

27:35 ~ Bicep Curls

28:25 ~ Triceps Dips or Triceps Extensions – free weights

29:50 ~ Tri Extensions -- Bar

30:49 ~ Legs Balance / Shoulders

31:04 ~ Lunges

33:05 ~ Shoulder Press

34:14 ~ Core / Impact

34:39 ~ Broad Jump / Shuffle Back

36:07 ~ Medicine Ball V twists

37:43 ~ Medicine Ball Roll Ups

39:04 ~ Balancing Medicine Ball Toss with a friend

39:44 ~ Outro

Using the external resistance of the barbell for the biceps!

My strength training and barbell practice are still evolving and I’m still learning and adjusting all the time. This information is in no way meant to be prescriptive or dogmatic but rather inspirational encouragement.

As always, I would love to hear your questions and to help you create a strength training program that is great for your Right Now Today Body and your particular precious self. Leave a comment, send me an email: I’d love to connect with you.

Your strength is one of the most powerful determining factors for your ongoing health and longevity. Let’s get strong and live long!

Strength Your Way: Your Body Weight

This is Part 2 in a 4-part series about creating strength training for your Right Now Today Body. In it, I’m sharing a variety of resources that have helped me build my own strength training program. You can read Part 1 in the series here.

I’m not a personal trainer or a strength coach. I am most definitely not your doctor or your PT. I’m not telling you how to do this but rather giving you a basket full of ideas and moves to explore on your own so you can create something that works for and evolves with you.

In this post, I begin the outline of the slow, progressive approach that I’ve used over the past few years that you can jump into from wherever you are. As always, listen to your body, trust your experience and self-knowledge, rely on the guidance of people who are research-centered, and always check with your health team recommendations that are best for you.

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"Use what you already know. People are so busy searching for a shortcut — or hoping an easier path will reveal itself — they let numerous moments slip by when they could get results simply by doing what is right in front of them." ~ James Clear

A couple of years ago, I understood that strength training is an incredibly good thing to do for your physical health, mental health and longevity. I could feel that even though I regularly move in lots of ways, I was losing strength.

So I started super simple: every morning, I did some squats and some push ups (on the edge of my desk, not the floor!).

I felt good. I kept doing it. Just a little. Every day.

After a while, I tracked how many squats and push ups I did and increased that number a little at a time. Then I added a wall sit. And then a plank.

This went on for months and months: adding moves, increasing the difficulty, and when there were too many moves to do in one session, doing them on alternate days. I started thinking about what body parts I was working and how I was working them. I learned a ton both through research and my own experimentation. Even now, though I’ve progressed to using external resistance, I come back to these body weight moves often when I’m traveling or don’t have access to my gear.

Now I offer you a short video to share some ideas and ways to think about using your body weight for strength training. You can watch the whole video in 30 minutes or click on any of the time stamps to jump to those moves.

VIDEO ~ Strength Your Way: Body Weight Moves

Strength Your Way: Body Weight Moves Video Time Stamps

0:00 ~ Introduction

2:00 ~ Plus Sides and Down Sides of Body Weight Moves

3:35 ~ What to Consider When Choosing What Moves to Do

4:20 ~ How Many Reps & Sets

5:52 ~ Legs/Hips

6:39 ~ Chair Squat

7:30 ~ Stool Squat

8:10 ~ Air Squat (Including Ass to Grass)

9:00 ~ Air Deadlift

10:27 ~ Bridge w toes up; variation on one leg

12:40 ~ Chest/Back

13:30 ~ Press Up on Wall / Table / Counter / Chair / Knees on Floor

15:10 ~ Pull on Railing

15:48 ~ Bent Over Wings

16:45 ~ Arms

17:16 ~ Biceps – Self Resistance

17:53 ~ Triceps – Self Resistance

18:44 ~ Triceps -- on Chair

19:30 ~ Shoulders/Lunges for Balance

19:50 ~ Lunge – body weight

21:00 ~ Lunge -- body weight with switch and optional balance

21:46 ~ Overhead press – Self Resistance

22:28 ~ Deltoid fly - Self Resistance

23:43 ~ Core/Impact

24:00 ~ Heel bumps

25:27 ~ Plank on knees with variations to progress

27:22 ~ V-Sit twist with feet on floor

28:46 ~ Side Plank knees

29:28 ~ Side Plank knees with twist

30:00 ~ Super Person with variations

31:16 ~ Outro

Ultimately, you want to build a habit of strengthening your body. To do that:

1. Start small. Pick a couple of moves that you like and do them for a while, then add on as you get stronger.

2. Make it easy. Have your list of moves on your dresser. Have workout clothes laid out (although I did these in my pajaymas for a long long time.)

3. Stack it. Add your strength training to something you already do (squat while flossing! Do a plank while figuring out Wordle!) or add it to something you love to do (Do your routine while listening to your favorite podcast, music or audio book! Even better if you ONLY listen to those things while strength training.)

Play around for yourself and your Right Now Today Body and see what works for you. If one approach doesn’t work or you stop doing it, it’s OK! Just begin again and notice how to adjust it so it works better.

What makes an impact are the things you do – for better or for worse – consistently. Always ask yourself, can I sustain doing this not just for a week but for the foreseeable future?

James Clear, author of the great book Atomic Habits, asks it this way:

“Bad things are always happening loudly: the injury, the flat tire, the mistake that gets you criticized. Everybody talks about the moments that make things a hassle.

“Good things are always happening quietly: the completed workout, the healthy meal, the ten minutes of writing. Nobody talks about the little moments that add up.

“What good things have you done quietly today?”

Resources

Full Body Home Workout For Beginner or Out-of-Shape - No Equipment - Easy to Do with Bob & Brad (h/t Jill Schneider)

I’m trying out some somatic strength training classes with Peter Appel (h/t Cecilia Mills). I’ll report back!

Small Things Are Everything

When I was a girl, I spent hours collecting shells on the New England beaches where we spent our summers. Sometimes I picked up a big conch or quahog shell but mostly, I liked the little ones. I loved to squat over a pile of the tiniest shells on the beach, some so small and delicate that the only way to pick them up was to lick my finger so they would stick.

The world feels too big to me sometimes. Too much, too fast, too gut wrenching. Sometimes, my best strategy is to squat down, look closely at and appreciate the smallest thing I can see.

Not a flower, but a petal.

Not a bird, but a feather.

Not my hand but the wrinkles on my hand.

I had a therapist who, true to his Buddhist roots, would tell me to give painful things a wide pasture. To give those things that caused me suffering more space, more context.

This wise and helpful counsel to get me centered and more spacious when my little boat is swamped. And if I'm still staggering and overwhelmed, it can also help me to go small, to focus in.

Hiking the North Country Trail in Michigan we lucked into finding blueberries! (July 22, 2024 outside Muskalonge State Park. Eleventy billion deer flies not pictured.)

Sometimes, when the world gets just to world-y, my best strategy is to pause and do the smallest thing I can do.

We learn from James Clear (Atomic Habits author) and BJ Fogg (Tiny Habits author) that the best way to do anything consistently is little by little.

Whether we want to do things to support our health, our relationships or our democracy, the approach is the same. Small acts, done consistently make the biggest impact.

In your body, small acts matter. Drink a big glass of water in the morning. Stretch between tasks at your desk and do some strength moves between chores. Eat some veggies before your meal. Then do those things again. It's the small things done regularly that add up.

In your relationships, small acts matter. Offer your full attention. Tell the truth faster. Apologize without "it's just that..." at the end. Then do those things again. It's the small things done regularly that add up.

In an election, small acts matter. Write a check to a cause or a candidate you care about. Volunteer to make calls or write postcards or knock doors. Invite a friend to join you. Post about what you're doing on social media. Then do those things again. It's the small things done regularly that add up.

Somehow, the tighter in I focus, the more I grounded I am. The smaller I look for wonder, the more space I have in my heart. The small contribution I offer repeatedly pays compounded interest.

What is the smallest thing you can notice? What is the smallest thing you can be grateful for? What is the smallest thing you can do to move the world in the direction you want it to go?

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RESOURCE NOTE:

In preparation for writing this post (and the September/October classes that I’m teaching on this theme —want to join us? Sign up here!), I read the book Look Again: The Power of Noticing What Was Already There by Tali Sharot and Cass R. Sunstein.

I thought the book was going to be about how we overlook the everyday things that are around us and by paying attention to them, we can enrich our lives.

While it was about that in some ways, mostly it is about our brain’s strategy to habituate which conserves energy — and how energizing dishabituation can be. The authors, for example, show how travel, or other exposure to different cultures, beliefs, norms and values dishabituates us so we can see our own experience more clearly and discern what would improve it. Dishabituation, as the authors argue, resparkles life.

So while the book wasn’t exactly what I expected and I learned other approaches to resparkling!

What Do You Wish You’d Known?

Graduation season is bittersweet; full of simultaneous feelings of sadness and joy. Last week, my beloved niece Olivia graduated from James Madison University. Seeing her in her glorious purple gown, her auntie was a puddle of tears. Memories rushed in of when she was born and my mom gave her a little pink ruffled onesie, when she could swing across the monkey bars without help, when she swam her first meet, when she went to prom.

After breathing through all the feels, I remembered when I graduated from college 37 years ago. It was an intense time for me: I was freaked out about being on my own. As I watched precious Olivia walk the JMU stage last weekend, I wondered: What did I wish someone had told me in May of 1986?

If I was to go back to myself on the quad at Bates College, this is what I would have told twenty-one year old me (and what I shared with already-wise Olivia).

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10 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Graduated College

1. Plan B (and C and D etc.) Are Part of Life. There are lots of ways of living a life. Humaning does not just look like what you see others doing. Start where you are and give it all you have ... and don’t be surprised or afraid if things change (like they do). Pivoting, detouring or U-turning are not signs of failure ~ they can be wise responses to experience, opportunity and circumstance.

2. Habits Matter. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, writes that it is the small, consistent habits that make the biggest impact on who we are and the life that we lead. Instead of focusing on big dramatic actions, make tiny choices over and over that move you in the direction you want to go. Try to push a boulder and you’ll hurt your back. Lift one brick at a time and you can build a cathedral.

3. Sex Usually Doesn’t Look Like It Does In The Movies. Especially if you’re in a long-term relationship. The work of Emily Nagoski (Come As You Are book and podcast) and others educate about how the body and brain work, how pleasure happens and what is normal (spoiler: you are normal). You deserve pleasure and if it feels good to you and it’s not hurting anybody, that is a normal sex life.

4. Make Genuine Apologies. If you do something that hurts someone, apologize cleanly for your part in the situation without any expectation for forgiveness. Three important notes: (1) a genuine apology is never followed by the word “but…” (2) “I’m sorry you feel that way” is not an apology and (3) when someone apologizes to you, all you have to say is, “thank you.”

5. Sleep Is Huge. Sleep is essential for brain, body and emotional health. While we don’t all need 8 hours, we do need full cycles of sleep to thrive. A lack of sleep impacts the body like drinking a bunch of alcohol, so don’t think you can do everything (like driving and taking a test) as well if you haven’t slept. If you can’t sleep, only stay awake in bed for 30 minutes: get up and stretch, read, do something off-screen that is relaxing for 30 minutes then go back to bed. Repeat as needed. If you’re not sleeping well, do whatever you can to support your sleep health.

6. Learn How To Regulate Yourself. We all get rattled and upset in big and small ways. Knowing how to settle your nervous system when you get jangled is a skill I wish I’d learned long ago. There are lots of ways to do it – breathe long exhales, shake your body, put your feet in the grass, squeeze your own shoulders, etc. Find what works for you so when you need to settle, you can.

7. The Greatest Gift You Can Give is Your Attention. There is no greater thing you can offer than your full and focused attention. Period. Distractions are everywhere these days which makes your presence with others an even more powerful gift. Similarly, empathy (as opposed to sympathy) is an essential nutrient for all humans. The first step to offering empathy is offering your full attention. P.S. Empathy never, ever starts with the words “at least.”

8. Rest Is Also Huge … And It’s Different Than Sleep. Our bodies and brains need breaks. It’s easy to get sucked into grind and hustle culture (that’s rooted in patriarchy and white supremacy ~ see Rest As Resistance by Trisha Hersey) and focus only on productivity. What can you do during the day to rest from working and producing? Take a walk. Daydream. Listen to birds. Lie down on the floor. Whatever rest is for you, it’s a radical, powerful act.

9. When In Doubt, Lead with Curiosity. The number of things you won’t understand in this world is enormous. When faced with one of these innumerable things, instead of getting defensive or insecure, do your best to get curious. “Tell me more about that” is something you really can’t say enough.

10. Clear Is Kind. Before speaking or acting, ask yourself if it is kind. Making the kindest choice you can is one of the most powerful things you can do. And as Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind.” Making and holding boundaries, asking for what you want and need, saying what is and is not OK is kind. It supports and builds trust in relationships including the one with yourself.

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The full list of all the things I wish I’d known when I graduated is much longer than these ten. I’d love to know what you wish you could go back and tell your younger self. Please leave any wisdom in the comments below!

Olivia, Auntie & Mom — all wearing JMU purple. May 20 2023.

Congratulations, my sweet Olivia Jane and everybody graduating from anything. Go make a beautiful next act.